The journey of self-acceptance is more often than not a tricky one for many of us. Ironically, it’s one of the hardest things for us to accept we deserve purely because we hold a strong belief that we aren’t worthy of actually loving and embracing who we are – internally and externally. This is especially true if we aren’t in such a good place mentally.
Becoming more self-accepting means building a certain resilience to the challenges we face daily. These can be self-consciousness, insecurities, or convincing ourselves we don’t “fit in” to social constructions. The biggest battle is the constant mental chatter trying to pull us in all kinds of directions to believe things that simply aren’t true.
It’s hard to accept who you are physically, mentally, or both even, when society tries to fit us into a certain mould. A mould based on what’s trendy at said time. We are constantly led to believe that who we are isn’t worthy enough of love, especially of our own accord.
Whilst it’s easy to fall victim to this “mould” and become frustrated that we don’t, in some way or another, fit into society’s expectations, it’s important to be brave enough to look beyond that. We can’t let society or social media make us feel like we don’t belong because we all deserve to be here and feel accepted. BUT, acceptance must start from within.
After getting upset after a few comments made on my appearance a couple of weeks ago, my friend turned to me and said “But, why do you care? What they say has no relevance in your life”. This got me thinking – it hurts because it plays on elements of myself that I don’t feel fully secure or confident about. Why do I care? Because I’ve become so reliant on others’ opinions and comments of me that, I’ve abandoned the person whose acceptance I need the most – myself! How can I expect anybody else to accept me if I continue to put myself down?
You must see that there is a clear difference between confidence and arrogance. They are NOT the same thing. Being confident in who you are doesn’t mean you think you’re any more important than the next person. It means you can see and appreciate your own worth. This is especially important when people hurt us or we face rejections – this is the resilience we’ve built to sustain mental wellbeing.
Acceptance helps us heal and overcome any troubles or challenges we may be currently facing. Acceptance means facing something head on, whether that’s an insecurity you may have or mental health challenges. What’s the benefit of that? We are no longer able to run away from the things that cause us pain, whilst this of course is difficult initially, it sets us up in the long-run should we put in the time and dedication.
So how do we begin the journey of self-acceptance?
- Follow people and accounts on social media that will make you feel GOOD. Unfollow anybody or anything that brings any negativity into your life. Modern day living means we spend around 136 minutes on social media (according to Statista) – who you follow matters!
- Physically spending time with people that positively impact your thoughts and/or feelings is just as important as the people and accounts you follow on social media. You can also choose who you spend your time with daily.
- Stop restricting yourself to one thing. Embrace what different environments and people bring out in you. It’s strange when you think you’re a certain personality e.g. quiet, private etc and suddenly a change of environment encourages you to become chatty and open – but, it’s okay to be more than one “you”. Embrace the weird, the messy, and the whole lot of crazy.
- Learn to accept that not everyone you come across will like you – equally not everyone will dislike you. Nine times out of 10, it’s NOT personal. As mentioned above, when we feel insecure about a certain quality of ours, we do tend to care about people who hold no significance to us in the grand scheme of things.
- Embrace every single thing that makes you unique – you’d be a completely different person without those elements. Sometimes, it’s better to be different than to fit in to society’s norm.
If you’d like to get in touch, leave feedback or ask any questions please contact me!
Ciao for now x